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Featured Articles

Fall Color Report

MacGregor's Musings

by Cynthia MacGregor

Betty was soon to be married. More than anything, she wanted to wear the wedding dress her mother had been married in. Betty's mother was beaming with pride, as she gave her consent. Later in the evening, the family gathered in the living room to wait, while Betty tried on the dress. When Betty entered the room, there was a chorus of approval. The dress fit perfectly and looked wonderful on her. Tears ran down the face of Betty's mother. Seeing this, Betty said, "Don't worry, Mom, you're not losing a daughter, you're gaining a son."

"Forget about that!" she said with a sob. "I used to fit into that dress!"

* * *
Unaware that Indianapolis is on Eastern Standard Time and Chicago on Central Standard Time, Bob inquired at the Indianapolis airport about a plane to Chicago. "The next flight leaves at 1:00 p. m.," a ticket agent said, "and arrives in Chicago at 1:01 p. m."

"Would you repeat that, please?" Bob asked.

The agent did so and then inquired, "Do you want a reservation?"

"No," said Bob, "But I think I'll hang around and watch that thing take off."

* * *
In the Arab countries, firefighters arriving at the fire station for their shift are expected to greet the fire chief with the traditional Arabian-style bow, but one lazy fireman would only nod his head and extend his hands half-heartedly. It was a false salaam.

* * *
There's a new movie about a helicopter sent to capture and destroy a new virulent strain of bacteria. "The Whirly Bird Gets the Germ."

* * *
You may think I'm paranoid, but I've noticed that cashiers are always checking me out.

Cynthia MacGregor is the author of more than 100 published books. She also does public speaking. Her website is

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